Alana Estelle

Byredo’s Gypsy Water has premise. Here is how Byredo describes this scent:

Gypsy Water is an ode to the beauty of Romani culture, its unique customs, intimate beliefs and distinguished way of living. The scent wakens a dream of a colorful lifestyle made of innate nomadism. Woody notes of pine needle and sandalwood associated to intense amber and fresh citrus evoke the fever of gypsy nights spent in the forest.

Notes:

• Top: Bergamot, Juniper Berries, Lemon, Pepper
• Middle: Incense, Orris, Pine Needles 
• Base: Amber, Sandalwood, Vanilla 

This fragrance is so interesting and overall, I think it’s a slightly edgier take on the traditional sandalwood-vanilla scent, but not so extreme that it won’t appeal to a lot of people. The opening notes are fresh and a little zesty, while also remaining earthy and green (earthy and green will be a reoccurring theme here). The “greenness”  is not the lush, wet green, that you get in the springtime, but a slightly drier green - think autumn leaves as the weather cools down and the air is crisp and less humid. None of these top notes are overbearing; they are all well balanced. The  citrus notes are fresh, while the pepper and juniper berries add a touch of spiciness. The middle notes in Gypsy Water are what make this fragrance for me. The combination of the incense with the pine needles adds a unique smoky layer to this fragrance, while still remaining earthy. You know that smell when you’re walking outside in the fall and winter over a layer of pine needles that have fallen? That’s the note I’m getting. It’s so naturalistic and evocative. I’m not detecting much orris here - orris is a violet leaning scent that tends to add a powdery element to fragrances. There may be a hint of powder, but it translates to something that smooths out the incense and pine so neither is too sharp. The base notes are gorgeous here - warm and inviting. The amber is mellow and the sandalwood and vanilla are both a touch sweet but not cloying. This is not a gourmand, bakery vanilla - it doesn’t smell like cake. It’s a natural leaning vanilla, more reminiscent of a dried vanilla bean pod, rather than vanilla frosting. 

Season: Gypsy Water has Autumn and Winter written all over it - it’s warm and inviting. This is not a heavy incense, woody vanilla scent - it’s actually rather light, so it may get lost under a lot of winter layers. The lightness of this also makes it lean more casual, so I see this working best during the daytime. However, a light spritz on your garments will make this more present. 

Wear Time: The performance on this one is low to medium. It definitely lingers for quite some time on clothing and on my skin, I notices it’s faded quite a bit after about 4 hours. Some people have complained that it’s gone on them after a couple of hours. This is where I’ve noticed something very interesting about the two Byredo fragrances I own - I may no longer be able to smell them on my self and I may think the fragrance has dissipated, but people around me keep complimenting me on how good I smell. I had a coworker come find me one day that I was wearing Mojave Ghost, because she was “following the smell because it was so good.” I was wearing Gypsy Water a few weeks ago and I forgot I had it on until my dad randomly said, “Wow. You smell good!” He wasn’t even standing that close to me and all I did was walk past. Byredo’s fragrances, from what I’ve experienced so far, definitely intrigue people. They are subtle but attention grabbing; they sit close to the skin and seem to envelope the wearing in soft wafts of fragrance, rather than a cloud.

Recommended for: This is definitely a unisex fragrance that leans more androgynous and masculine. Don’t let that deter you, many women enjoy wearing this fragrance. I like more androgynous scents during the colder months, so this it right up my alley. If you like edgier fragrances, woody/vanilla/sandalwood/incense fragrances, then you may like this one. If you like vanilla perfumes, but want something a little different, this may also appeal to you. If you are a fan of Diptyque Eau Duelle (an all time favorite of mine) then I think you’ll really enjoy Gypsy Water. Also, if you like fragrances that lean a bit more sexy and make you more intriguing to other people, this may interest you. When I smell this fragrance, I see two different outfits in my mind - both can be worn by men and women. This first outfit is a pair of black jeans, a black Moto leather jacket, a V-neck tee and a pair of Chelsea boots. The second outfit is a black cashmere turtleneck, black slacks, bold glasses, delicate gold jewelry/accessories, black loafers, (and I’d throw on a bold red lip). There is something classic about Gypsy water, just like the aesthetics of these outfits, bit there is also an interesting texture to this scent, something that makes you pause. I’m really enjoying Gypsy Water and I think it’ll become a permanent fixture in my Fall and Winter fragrance rotation. 

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I have a pile of books there is are very unlike me. In fact, some of these books I’m already expecting not get on with, so why do I own them?

You’re looking at one of my next reading projects. This summer, while reading the first chapter of At the Existentialist Cafe, I came across some quotes that made me pause.

Thus, enter millennial fiction. When I see people review books from these millennial authors, I’ve noticed this rise in existentialism again - whether it’s being acknowledged or not.  I really want to dive into this because I think it’s interesting. There are some contemporary authors/books that are not millennial that can be brought into this conversation as well (ducks, Newburyport, Milkman, Esther Kinsky’s novels River and Grove, and Rachel Cusk’s Outline trilogy come to mind). I don’t think this is purely a phenomenon amongst millennial fiction, as there does seem to be a trend in contemporary literature focusing on the minutiae of life and one’s tension with the outside world. I then want to bring this around full circle to the king of details and the seemingly mundane - Marcel Proust.

Here are some topics I’ll be exploring within the framework of existentialism as I work through this reading project:

• Capitalism/Marxism/Socialism - Sally Rooney especially. I actually plan to read her three novels and Mr. Salary, a short story, and really dive into how she portrays Marxism. She is blatantly a Marxist. I blatantly dislike Marx. I do find it ironic how the marketing of her books profits off capitalism. One can argue that it’s the system she has to work within, but there are ways around structures. I don’t think Rooney and I will get along, but I think including her in this discussion of existentialist thought amongst millennial writers is crucial. I plan to argue counter arguments to some of her points about Marxism, which means I’ll have to spend some more time reading Marx (gag me…) Also, critiquing capitalism is very common amongst millennials. Severance by Ling Ma presents an interesting dialogue about this idea of post-capitalist society.

• Ennui - This term is used to describe a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction; one’s life seems unexciting, uninteresting, mundane. In these novels, there tends to be a focus on the characters getting stuck in the “hamster wheel of life” and they have difficulty reconciling this. How can life seem so mundane, yet the world is imploding around us at the same time? I think we’ve all felt this, especially in 2020 and 2021. This is were I want to eventually draw some parallels between my findings and Proust. 

• Milieu - This is a nice sounding word to describe one’s environment/surroundings. As I’m working through these millennial novels, I hope to pick up on any commonalities between the environments and settings in which these stories take place, why these settings may or may not be similar and why these are the settings that these authors are gravitating towards. 

• Why are millennial writers currently getting praised for this? This s a question I hope to answer, because it find it odd that millennial writers are currently getting praised for this, as if they are the first ones to have these conversations. I’m a millennial, and I think every generation falls victim to this. We think we are super special and unique, yet humans since the dawn of time have critiqued the structures around them. And millennials are not the first ones to feel this existential crisis; this tension between ourselves and the world. My hypothesis is that now, as those in my generation that were born in the 1980s and 1990s are getting closer towards middle-age (yea..weird…), we are now at this time in our lives in which we are trying to come to terms with and reconcile how we perceived adulthood would be and how it’s actually playing out. Our predecessors have already had this crisis, and Gen Z is not quite there yet as they’re still teenagers. This is why I’ll be bring Kinsky, Burns, Cusk and Ellmann (potentially Knausgaard) into this discussion; to see how our predecessors address these issues.

These are the ramblings and thoughts that are floating around in my head as I gear up to start this reading project. Like most of my reading projects, this will probably take me a long time to complete - years. I plan to start next year. I think I can read Mr. Salary this year, as it’s only 30 pages long and I really need to finish reading At the Existentialist Cafe. 

What do you think about millennial fiction? Have you read any of these books? Are there any books you think I should consider adding to this project?

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Ah, it’s that time of year again - the time in which book nerds everywhere stack their October reading lists with Victorian classics. There are reading prompts and readers will choose their reading selections based off of those prompts. 

I never adhere to reading prompts and as much as I love Victorian literature, I’m not participating in Victober at all this year. I’m saving my big chunky Victorian novel for November and December, so I can have more time to dive into it during all the holiday breaks. 

I have no idea what the reading prompts are for this year, I just have five Victorian classics that are high up on my reading list. 

• The Old Curiosity Shop - Bleak House is my top Dickens novels that I’m eager to get to and I’lm tackling that monster, starting in November. I try to read a Dickens novel a year and next up will be The Old Curiosity Shop. 

• Wives and Daughters - I adore Elizabeth Gaskell’s writing. So far, I’ve read North & South, Mary Barton and Cranford. The next time I’m in the mood for Gaskell, Wives and Daughters it is!

• The Moonstone - Collins is the perfect author for this time of year. His sensation novels were like the thrillers of the Victorian era. I’ve read The Woman in White (loved it!) and this is next on my list of Collins novels to read. Also, the premise of this book makes me want to reread All the Light We Cannot See because there is an element that is very similar. 

• Shirley - I’ve said it time and time again, but Jane Eyre is my favorite novel. I also read Villette last year and it is also a stunning piece of fiction. My next Charlotte Bronte novel will be Shirley. 

• Lady Audley’s Secret - Another Victorian sensation novel. I keep hearing excellent things about this novel and I need to find out for myself what it’s all about. 

Are you participating in Victober this year and any of the prompts? Will you read or have you read any of the novels that I have listed here?

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I had some leftover merino wool and silk-mohair yarn from my Petite Knit Oslo Sweater. I love this Ocher Brown colorway and decided to knit a hat. I used tiny needles, for a tighter, cozier gauge and I really like how it came out. I also knitted this hat longer than I normally do, for an extra cozy, slightly wider cuff. 

I’m a sucker for classic ribbed beanies, so here is my finished hat! I decided to do a classic four-point decrease (is that the proper terminology? I don’t know…), in which the stitches are divided into four sections and decreased to shape the crown, so the finished hat has four defined sections of deceases.

Not going to lie, it took me a while to figure out how to do the decreases like this, while maintaining the ribbing. I didn’t want to look at anyone else’s pattern to do it - I wanted it to be my own. 

I’m looking forward to the weather getting colder, so I can break my knit hats back out. I have so many and I need to show them more love. 

Yarn used: Knitting for Olive Merino and Silk-Mohair in the color way Ocher Brown 

Pattern: Mine 

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A concept that I noticed throughout this novel is this idea of privacy, specifically in one’s mind, and how one’s mind can serve as a sanctuary; an untouchable place when the rest of one’s body has been subject to everyone else’s whims. Jude stubbornly and obsessively refuses to disclose what happened to him as a child, even to his closest friends. They have some vague inklings, but they have no clue how deep is the depravity that Jude endured. This is Jude’s attempt to protect himself in the last way he knows how because, what happens to a person once they reveal everything? What will they have left and at what point should others allow someone to not speak? At what point does being transparent actually become detrimental?

There came a point in the novel, right around the halfway mark, in which I was greatly reminded of Lolita by, Vladimir Nabokov. I’m so glad I read Lolita earlier this year, or else I wouldn’t have picked up on some of the things in this novel. I’m curious to know if Yanagihara drew an inkling of inspiration from Lolita - she even uses a form of the word “nymphet” (if you know, you know). Jude, like Lolita, is a victim of child abuse. These abusers play on the innocence and vulnerability of children, while simultaneously blaming the child, thus allowing them to groom these children. Look at some of the similarities in the two quotes from these texts. 

A Little Life: “What a great smile you have Jude.” “What a lovely person you are.” … it was as if the greenhouse was someplace bewitched, somewhere that transformed him into … someone funny and bright, someone people wanted to be around, someone better and different than he actually was.”

Lolita: “Now I wish to introduce the following idea. Between the age limits of nine and fourteen there occur maidens who, to certain bewitched travelers, twice as many times older than they, reveal their true nature which is not human, but nymph (that is demoniac); and these chosen creatures I propose to designate as “nymphets.”

Also, while reading Lolita, I ironically thought that, as uncomfortable as most of the content is, especially since it’s from the perspective of the abuser, how much more uncomfortable it would be from the perspective of Lolita?  Ah, and then comes A Little Life that, in a sense can be analyzed as a text that answers this question. Oh, it’s more uncomfortable, but even more dynamic and profound. In Lolita, we get very few glimpses of how Lolita is coping and we have no idea what is going on in her head. In A Little Life, we get everything. 

In my Halfway Review of A Little Life, I discuss how poignantly Yanagihara portrays friendships, especially male friendships. This is a central element of the novel, because Jude’s friendships and relationships, for the most part, are stark contrasts to the relations of his childhood. Jude’s post-childhood friendships are nuanced and there is so much “grey” to them. The relationships in this novel are not just platonic or romantic; they vary. While reading this novel, I kept thinking about how the Ancient Greeks have five words to describe different types of love, which led me to ask some questions - what happens to relationships when we try to only make them platonic or romantic? When our platonic love seems deeper and more complex, why do we always assume that our option is romantic? What about how the Ancient Greeks described love? 

“But his friendship with Jude made him feel that there was something real and immutable about who he was, that despite his life of guises, there was something elemental about him, something that Jude saw even when he could not, as if Jude’s very witness of him made him real.”

I’m a huge fan of existential novels and A Little Life is dream for those of us who love a good existential crisis in our narratives. Jude is constantly asking himself, “Who am I?” “Am I the person who I see, or am I the person that other people see?” How does one reconcile and coexist with the various versions of one’s self that are floating out there, depending on who is defining that person?

There is a stunning passage of Willem, Jude’s best friend” describing Jude as he sees him and it’s just … gorgeous. 

“You’re Jude St. Francis. You are my oldest, dearest friend. … You’re a New Yorker. … You’re a swimmer. You’re a baker. You’re a cook. You’re a reader. You have a beautiful voice, though you never sing anymore. … You’re patient. You’re generous. You’re the best listener I know. You’re the smartest person I know, in every way. You’re the bravest person I know, in every way.” 

I want to very briefly touch on the theme of fictional realism; briefly, because I’m going to devote a whole post to this concept in the near future. Some readers of this book have claimed that A Little Life is traumatic for the sake of being traumatic - they call it “trauma p*rn.”  I whole heartedly disagree. Jude’s childhood is far more common than people realize. Nothing about the content shocked me. I’ve heard real life stories of this type of abuse countless times, in fact I’ve heard of real stories even more insane than Jude’s. Why is it that when we come across this type of content, especially when it’s in fiction, we write it off as voyeurism and sensationalism? Why does fiction that is uncomfortably realistic get categorized as “trauma p*rn,” when it blatantly shoves real life in our faces? What does this mean about how we view fiction? Have we become gatekeepers of what can and cannot be fictionalized? There is one quote in A Little Life that strongly reminded me of my favorite quote in Fahrenheit 451. 

A Little Life: “What he knew, he knew from books, and books lied, they made things prettier.”

Farenheit 451: “Do you know why books such as this are so important? Because they have quality. And what does the word quality mean? To me it means texture. This book has pores. It has features. This book can go under the microscope. You’d find life under the glass, streaming past in infinite profusion. The more pores, the more truthful recorded details of life per square inch you can get on a sheet of paper, the more ‘literary’ you are. … Telling detail. Fresh detail. The good writers touch life often.” 

Lastly, I want to discuss the cover art for this particular edition, as well as the title of this novel. The cover of this book is a photograph by Peter Hujar titled “Orgasmic Man.” This is such an appropriate and ironic selection. This photograph, without knowing the title, would initially make one think that this person is in pain. But isn’t that Jude’s life? His life has been a life of pain and pleasure. He has experienced the worst and the best of life, and life straddles the fine line between pain and pleasure and this cannot be avoided. The title “A Little Life” is a play on words - this novel examines life at the micro level. Yes, Jude is the focus, but it brings in those that orbit around Jude and their lives as well. Jude also struggles with feeling that his life is “little” and insignificant. He battles with the idea of a legacy. What has his life, full of so much pain, but also so much success, contributed to the world?

Honestly, I could go on and on about A Little Life. I adore this novel. I love this novel. People often say they cannot recommend this novel to anyone because of the content. Is this novel for everyone? No. No novel is “one size fits all.” I completely understand why some people don’t want to read this book, or why they start and decide not to finish. You have to make the personal decision to take what has been presented and hinted to you about the content of this novel (and any novel for that matter) and autonomously decide if this is something you want to read or not. I cannot tell you how you’ll react, because I don’t know. I actually think Lolita is a good gauge - if you couldn’t get through that, or would never read it, then you may not be able to get through this. Again, we are adults here. Make your own choice. You know yourself better than anyone else, so make that decision for yourself. But if you are on the fence and leaning towards it, go for it. Take your time with it. It deserves space and time to breathe. I do believe this is a novel that has been shrouded in so much emotional hype, that it’s actually doing this novel a disservice. This book is so much more than it's challenging content, which is why I made the attempt to dive into the many facets of this novel. This is a 800+ page book. There is a lot of other content here, people!

A Little Life took me by surprise and I’m rarely ever surprised. This novel got into my skin and it’s imprinted itself on my thoughts. I’m going to make a bold statement: The Brothers Karamazov was going to be the top read of 2021. It’s been bumped to second place and I highly doubt anything else is taking A Little Life’s place for the remainder of the year. A Little Life is also now in my top three reads of all time. I can’t rave about this book enough. This is a novel that I will reread this over and over again. Absolutely breathtaking. 

Rating: 5/5

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Here’s what I’m reading this month:

• Wolf Hall - My primary read for this month. I’m really excited to dive into this one and I have high hopes for it. It’s one of my most anticipated reads for this year and what is more autumnal than the crazy Tudors.

• The Silence of Scheherazade - I started this late September and now I’m about 70 pages in. Kaye Publicity kindly sent me this copy for my review, for this book’s English launch that was on September 1, 2021. What really appeals to me about this novel is that it’s set just before the fall of the Ottoman Empire and then goes into the build up of WWI and the collapse of the Empire. There is something magnetic about this novel; when I’m reading it, I don’t want to put it down. 

• Crime & Punishment - Ladies and gentleman, this is the LAST month you’re going to see this book on my monthly TBR list! I’m almost done and I’m giving myself a deadline. It has to be finished this month because I have conversations with other people scheduled (one will be on Youtube, so keep you eyes peeled) and I need to get a move on so I can also have enough time to write out my notes for these discussions.  

• Northanger Abbey - I’m so thrilled to be venturing back to a good ole English classic this month. I haven’t read Northanger Abbey and I’m looking forward to Austen’s wit and charm - I’ve missed it. 

• Surviving Home - I don’t have the physical copy yet. Book Publicity Services kindly reached out to me and asked me if I’d like an advanced copy of Katerina Canyon’s newest poetry collection, set to be released this December. I already have the e-book and will be diving in this month! I very, very rarely read poetry because I actually struggle with understanding it. However, what I sampled really intrigued me. Excited to read outside of my comfort zone this month. Thank you Book Publicity Services!

What are you reading this month?

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Notes: 

• Top: Lemon 
• Middle: Red Roses Accord
• Base: Honeycomb 

Jo Malone Red Roses is a very straightforward and linear, fresh authentic rose. It achieves exactly what it was created to achieve - it’s a pretty simple rose perfume. The lemon at the top is very subtle to my nose, all I get is the essence of what citrus notes brings to a fragrance; it adds a lightness and vibrance to Red Roses. When people typically think about rose perfumes, they think of heavier roses, that are powdery. The addition of lemon here veers this scent away from that prototype. As would be expected, rose is dominate throughout this whole scent. This is not an overly “green” rose, meaning that this is not a rose that is still on the bush, in which you detect hints of the leaves and stems. This fragrance focuses on the bulb of the flower. As previously mentioned, it’s not powdery, so throw away your misconceptions of rose fragrances smelling like powder bombs from the 1980s. The honeycomb at the base adds a touch of sweetness and is a bit animalic. I actually get a slight beeswax note, that really comes through after this fragrance has been sitting on my skin for several hours. I find honey notes to be really tricky to pull off - either your body chemistry is going to get on with it or not. There are times I don’t mind it, but other times it gets on my nerves a bit. Honey is one of those notes that can get a bit stinky. Just smell an empty cup of tea that’s been sweetened with honey. The smell that lingers is a bit odd. It’s very subtle, but I pick up on it and it’s not always my cup of tea, depending on my mood (no pun intended). However, I do think the honeycomb gives this otherwise simple and unassuming rose fragrance as little something “extra.” A lot of rose fragrances are anchored with musks, vanillas, ambers, patchouli or wood notes, so this is a nice and interesting twist. 

Season: Rose is a floral that can be pulled of all year round. This is a fresher rose, so I would deem this more of a “three season” scent. Because of that honeycomb note at the base, this could get a touch cloying in extremely high heat and humidity during the hottest times of the year, and I can also see heavy layers of clothing in the coldest winter months burying this scent. I get the best performance out of this fragrance spring, early summer and early autumn.

Sillage & Wear Time: For such a fresh, almost airy rose, Red Roses gets good milage. It has a medium projection from body. After just 3 sprays, I can smell this fragrance around me, in a subtle cloud. It still remains unoffensive and it isn’t heavy, so it won’t annoy most people, even if they can smell you. I rarely have to top this fragrance up throughout the day. A couple of sprays on my neck and a spritz on my top and I can smell this all day. Jo Malone fragrances can have spotty performance and this one is a pleasant surprise. 

Recommended For: If you are a massive fan of rose perfumes, then Jo Malone Red Roses is calling your name. If you are in the market for a simple, straightforward and non-fussy rose scent, that isn’t too green or woody, that isn’t too sweet and not powdery, this if worth checking out. I can see women of all ages enjoying this scent, as its neither “too young” or “too mature.” This is also a great option for an “everyday” scent that just makes you smell nice and isn’t complicated. For my preferences and what I look for in a rose perfume, this isn’t my favorite. I prefer more complex and complicated scents. I do prefer my rose scents to be “greener” in the spring and summer and darker, woodier, spicier, boozier, edgier and sexier in the colder months. Not powdery, but something with more musk, vanilla, wood and even a bit of patchouli, perhaps something more unisex. I have my eye on a few of Diptyque’s rose scents and a scent from Byredo that may suit my needs. My rose scent should be able to be paired with lots of black clothing and a leather biker jacket. 

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