The Lonely Passion of Judith Hearne by, Brian Moore caught my attention a year ago, while scrolling on Instagram. The cover is initially eye catching and then when one looks again, you see the form of a woman camouflaged on the cover, seemingly in despair and then the title hits you. I knew that this novel would be bleak and I like bleak books, but good grief! This one hit differently.
Judith Hearne is a single woman in Ireland in her 40s. She came from a well-to-do family, but she’s come down in the world, living alone, barely making ends meet, and still holding on to the hope that she’ll get married and have a family. However, Judith’s struggle with loneliness has driven her to rely on something she wishes to keep secret.
This book initially reminded me of Excellent Women by, Barbara Pym - Judith, as a single women in the 1950s, relies on the interesting interactions she has to give her talking points and make her life seem exciting.
“For it was important to have things to tell which interested your friends. And Miss Hearne has always been able to find interesting happenings where other people would find only dullness. It was, she often felt, a gift which was one of the greatest rewards of solitary life.”
This initially starts off feeling cheery, however, it’s really Judith attempting to cope with the reality that she’s putting a band-aid over a wound. Where Excellent Women is humorous, witty and satirical, The Lonely Life of Judith Hearne is gritty and despairing. Judith’s loneliness is at the type that develops after years and years of hoping but not seeing. The way she even interacts with herself reveals that even though she’s hopeful, that hope is fragile.
“She watched the glass, a plain woman, changing all to the delightful illusion of beauty. There was still time; for her ugliness was destined to bloom late, hidden first by the unformed gawkiness of youth, budding plainness in young womanhood and now flowing to slow maturity in her early forties, it still awaited the subtle garishness which, when arrived at, would preclude all efforts at the mirror game.”
No matter how much Judith tries to see herself in the mirror as the beauty that she isn’t, it’s just an illusion and it’s evident that at this point, her desire for a relationship is an illusion.
The narrative really becomes more desolate, as Judith’s resentment begins to seep through. She has spent her life under the care of her aunt and then caring for her aunt, which can attribute to her lack of suitors. One could even argue that her aunt sabotaged her chances for marriage.
“O, he wasn’t good enough for you, nobody’s good enough for you, nobody ever was and nobody ever will be. And it’s all your fault that I am where I am today, being insulted by some fat old landlady and living in furnished rooms.”
The whole time I was reading this book, I kept thinking of Proverbs 13:12, “Hope deferred maketh the heart sick, but when a desire is fulfilled, it is a tree of life.” Judith is a Catholic woman and her faith means everything to her. However, the longer desires go unfulfilled, the more difficult it becomes to remain hopeful. There is this constant tension between maintaining faith and being on the verge of falling into complete and utter discouragement and disappointment. I was even just reminded of one of the opening lines in the movie It’s a Wonderful Life, “What, is he sick? No, worse; he’s discouraged.” When a person is on that precipice of just giving up and leaning entirely into discouragement, it’s a scary place to be in, mentally.
“Why should life be so hard for me, why am I alone, why did I yield to the temptation to drink, why, why has it all happened like this? O Sacred Heart, lighten my cross … You know the things I wanted, the home, the children to raise up to honour and reverence You. O, Sweet Jesus, You have shared my suffering, You know that I love You, please dear Lord, give me a sign, give me strength.”
Judith is at her breaking point and her faith continues to crumble. She goes to a priest, seeking encouragement, but is let down and begins to see him as a fallible human being.
“An ignorant man. God’s anointed, with God’s guidance, he should have known it was important, perhaps the most important confession of my life. But he didn’t see that. And if he didn’t see, why didn’t You tell him, O Sacred Heart, why didn’’t You guide him, help him to help me? Why?”
This just makes me wonder, how do we know if we aren’t someone’s last resort, when they come to us in a time of need? How do we know that if we don’t show compassion in that time, we could be the difference between someone giving up and someone holding on just a little bit longer?
The novel is essentially Judith spiraling into hopeless desperation and it’s just … sad. The reader is experiencing someone hit rock bottom and it’s not fun - it’s grueling. However at the same time, Moore wrote the novel is such a realistic way, that I was floored the novels’ realism. It’s simply written, but still punches the reader in the gut. It’s not dramatized, but explores life in a way that doesn’t sugar coat. There is no hope and as much as I wished Judith would get a break, I knew she wouldn’t. I like it when an author doesn’t always let the reader have their way and doesn’t tie things up neatly in the end because life isn’t neat.
Rating: 4/5.
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